If you have a crush on someone, chances are you're always dreaming that they feel the same way about you — and you would do everything in your power to make that dream come true.
Let’s face the heart-wrenching reality right off the bat: you can’t force your crush to like you back. Thankfully, though, there are things you can do to point Cupid’s arrow in the right direction. Even if you miss the mark, it's worth a shot!
While it’s tempting to try to appear perfect around your crush at all times, this can backfire. Nobody’s perfect, and most people aren't into those who pretend to be, either. When you revel in your imperfections and show you can laugh at yourself, your crush is a lot more likely to like you back, imperfections and all. Don’t hide your flaws. Instead, roll with them.
We’ve all experienced that lightning bolt moment when we find out that someone we’ve just met has something in common with us. Maybe you both have the same birth date or you each had a guinea pig named Gonzo growing up. Chances are you immediately felt a little closer to that person, even if they were a stranger just seconds before. While opposites certainly can attract, we’re united in our similarities. When you find out you have something in common with your crush, let them know about it!
Here’s a sneaky little trick, which we can credit to none other than Ben Franklin himself: next time you see your crush, ask them to perform a minor act of service for you. Ask them to save your seat or hold your drink for a second. Or ask if you can borrow something of theirs. When you ask someone to help you out with something, it subconsciously makes them feel like they’re on your “team” and trust them, and they’ll naturally start to like you more.
It’s psychological: we tend to laugh and smile more when we're with someone we're attracted to, so, chances are you’re doing this with your crush already. Keep it up! It goes both ways, too: if your crush is always going out of their way to make you laugh, odds are good they're enjoying it too. Shared laughter builds positive feelings, and eventually, you’ll have a few inside jokes of your own.
Next time you watch a movie with your crush, skip the romantic comedy and cue up a psychological thriller instead. Our minds are primed to associate the increased heart rate and heightened emotions of adrenaline rushes with whomever we’re with, potentially enhancing passionate feelings. As an added bonus, shielding your eyes — or theirs — from all those jump scares might give you the chance to move in a little bit closer.
Ever catch yourself crossing your legs, folding your arms, or touching your hair at the same time as your friend? We can thank our brain’s mirror neurons for this social phenomenon. When we like someone, we unintentionally mimic their posture and gestures. Mirroring your crush’s movements can help to build rapport with them on a subconscious level, which certainly can’t hurt your chances. Just make sure you keep your mimicry subtle, or they might start to think you’re mocking them!
Physical contact is one of the best ways to suss out whether or not your feelings have the potential to go both ways. If you’re hanging out with your crush and things are going smoothly, try lightly brushing their lower arm with your hand as you’re joking around. Then, read their signals. If they don’t pull away or tense up, that’s a good sign that they like you back. If they return your touch, even better.
It may sound obvious, but we tend to like people we're familiar with more than those we're not. The more quality time you spend with a person, the closer you’ll feel to one another. Likewise, the more memories you create together, the more you’ll have to talk about, and the stronger your relationship will be. This is known as the “exposure effect.”
Next time you hang out with your crush, you might want to swap out ice-cold cocktails for steaming hot cocoa. We literally experience warmer feelings toward others when we have something warm in our hands than when we’re holding something cold. Studies indicate that warm drinks increase compassion and trust, while cold drinks trigger feelings of indifference and detachment.
There’s no point in trying to get your crush to like you back if you don’t let them know the real you. When they ask you about yourself, don’t make the mistake of only giving them answers you think they want to hear. Likewise, if they ask you where you want to go or what you want to do, don’t always leave it up to them. While a little compromise is cool, concealing your true opinions or personality isn't. Think about it: you like your crush for who they are, right? Give them the chance to like you for who you are, too. Nothing is sexier than a little confidence, and that goes both ways.