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Share to PinterestThese Kids Almost Got Sent to the Principal's Office for What They Said...

These Kids Almost Got Sent to the Principal's Office for What They Said...

By Max Day
Share to PinterestThese Kids Almost Got Sent to the Principal's Office for What They Said...

Remember back when you were in school? If memory serves, you thought you were a perfect little angel who never did anything wrong. But that's probably not the truth, now is it?! Kids like to act out and tell dirty jokes sometimes, even if their parents or teachers don't want them to. Sometimes they say things they shouldn't – whether it be for shock factor or because they really can't understand why it's inappropriate.

Today, we're taking a look at hilarious quotes from kids who just had "#nofilter" on the things they said! You'll laugh hard when you read these adorable one-liners from preschool and elementary school children all across America, courtesy of the award-winning Twitter account, "Live From Snack Time":


A long day

Share to Pinteresttext reading "it's been such a long day"

As adults, we're no strangers to feeling tired and cranky after a hard day. But who says kids can't feel the same? If three-year-old Reuben cries that he's had a long day, maybe his has been longer than any of ours. After all, when you're only three, every day is a pretty significant portion of your lifespan so far!


Just a little bit

Share to Pinteresttext that reads "i hope this day has a bit of drama, but not a lot"

We think this unnamed kid, who wants just the right amount of drama to make the day more interesting, is right on target! When it comes to drama, a little goes a long way... save the rest for the theater department!


Boss mom

Share to Pinterest"my mom is the boss and my dad helps her"

This six-year-old is already dismantling the patriarchy, with the statement that mom is the boss and the one who wears the pants in this family! We're not sure how dad would feel about this observation – but if he's not happy with the boss, he should probably file a complaint with HR.


A Relaxing Bath

Share to Pinterest"just get nakey, eat a chocolate popsicle in the bathtub, and GET OVER IT"

Are you feeling utterly exhausted after a long day, just like three-year-old Reuben said? Well, his fellow three-year-old Kamryn has some advice! Take a nice, relaxing bath, and bring snacks with you. Perhaps Kamryn is wise beyond her years and has discovered the curative secret to any problem.



Share to Pinterest"i had a snaccident... too many snacks, by accident"

Binged on too many snacks by accident? This six-year-old very cleverly calls it a "snaccident." The kid responsible for this quote has chosen to remain "anonymous," but if you do decide to come forward, don't worry: we won't judge!



Share to Pinterest"i lose all control around cheese"

Similar to the "snaccident" predicament above, this kid is honest enough to admit that they cannot control the amount of cheese they eat. Maybe they too can come up with a funny word to describe their cheese addiction, like "un-brie-lievable."


Basic dad

Share to Pinterest"i got a scooby doo band-aid because i'm a kid. dad got a plain one because they don't make news band-aids"

Was this child trying to hurt Dad's feelings? Either way, Dad is sure to be "black and white and 'read' all over" after that burn. And Dad will be needing another band-aid, too...



Yoga mom

Share to Pinterestmommy, you don't do yoga... so why do you wear yoga pants?"

But, hey, we can't leave Mom out of getting bad-mouthed by her kids! Four-year-old Owen points out the strange scenario of his mom always wearing yoga pants...even though she never does yoga! Maybe Mom is just wearing clothes for meditating after dealing with Owen's insults all day!


A mom by any other name

Share to Pinterest"all of our moms have the same name!"

When this little whippersnapper points out that all moms have the same name, you'd be forgiven for missing the joke: he or she thinks that all moms are actually named "Mom!" Well, maybe that assumption is okay, as long as you don't insult Mom's yoga pants!


Pushing my buttons

Share to Pinterest"mom put me in a button shirt again. she tests me."

Clearly, Presley is not very happy about having to wear a button-up shirt once again. Whether the shirts are uncomfortable, or Presley just doesn't like how long they take to put on, one thing is clear: Presley's mom is definitely "pushing their buttons."


Mom, the spider-killer

Share to Pinterest"there's spiders at my house sometimes. my mom has killed two spiders and my dad has killed one. so I guess that makes my mom the leader in spider killing."

Mom seems to be the boss in this seven-year-old's house too! Be afraid, spiders...But the rest of the family can feel safe as long as Mom is around. She won't be a "widow" any time soon because she's protecting her family from all the big bad arachnids.



Share to Pinterest"i told my mom a couple of times that i don't like this sandwich but she forgets sometimes because her birthday is in december and she's 49."

This six-year-old is also anonymous – or maybe their mom forgot their name! Either way, the youngin' is very forgiving of Mom, who keeps making an icky sandwich. Once you reach the ripe old age of 49, there are some things you just forget!



Share to Pinterest"mommy, it's target. control yourself."

Three-year-olds usually aren't known for their self-control, but Luca is an exception! Rather than being the type of toddler to throw a temper tantrum in Target instead, he's smart enough to prevent Mom from spending too much at her favorite store.


Lifetime commitment

Share to Pinterest"i'll love you forever and ever, mom. even when you're old. even when you're 30."

Sebastian's declaration that he will always love his mother is so sweet, but maybe he went about it the wrong way! If the child we just heard from thinks 49 years of age is old, Sebastian's standards of what qualifies as "old" are even tougher.


Cry about it later

Share to Pinterest"go cry somewhere else, margo. i'm trying to dance"

Four-year-old Coral may have been a little harsh with her friend, but we agree that it's better to dance than to cry! You heard her: if you're going to "kill the vibe," get off the dance floor and stop being such a party pooper.


Put on pause

Share to Pinterest"i paused. my show so i could come cuddle with you."

This little one knows when it's time to watch TV and when it's time for a cuddle break. We think it's so sweet that they took a breather to go snuggle with Mom or Dad. Luckily the wonders of modern technology allow us to push the pause button when we need to!


Let your guard down

Share to Pinterest"you have a crush? you have to let your guard down around him! i know that because my mom watches the bachelorette."

Speaking of watching TV, it seems like seven-year-old Ruby has learned a lot from her prime-time television watching. We hope that her babysitter takes this sound dating advice offered by Ruby. What could go wrong?



Share to Pinterest"i have a zoomache. it's like a headache but from zoom."

Between "snaccidents" and "Zoomaches," kids are making up their own words and their own ailments. We wonder whether a Zoomache would be considered a real illness by the American Medical Association, or maybe just an excuse to take a day off?


Nice nuggets

Share to Pinterest"chicken nuggets don't make my stomach hurt because they would never betray me like that!"

On the other hand, some kids don't think they'll ever get sick! This kid knows that chicken nuggets are friends, not foes. We wonder if this is still true if the nuggets are dinosaur-shaped? (The answer is yes.)


Friday funk

Share to Pinterest"sometimes on friday, my brain is just like whaaaaaat?"

You know how after a full week at the office, by the time Friday rolls around, your mind is just gone? Well, the same is true whether you're forty years old or four years old. Kenny knows what it's like to think, "TGIF!"


Don't forget the doctor

Share to Pinterest"um, no mom. dr. jill biden. she is a doctor. first ladies can be doctors."

Five-year-old Emma politely reminds her mother that Dr. Jill Biden should be referred to as such. You don't study for 10-plus years for your doctorate, just to have the proper title missing from your name!


The early bird

Share to Pinterest"i am so strong. just not in the mornings."

We're glad that Lily is confident enough to admit the truth to herself: that, yes, she is strong, but not in the mornings. Lily is too young for a morning cup of coffee, but maybe a bowl of Wheaties would do the trick?


I heard you

Share to Pinterest"i heard you the first time. i just didn't do it."

Per the name and the attitude, little Harley must be a biker! This little one is intent on proving the point that just because you hear the instructions doesn't mean you have to follow them.


Wearing many hats

Share to Pinterest"school goes back tomorrow, so tonight i'm going to have to take off my silly hat and put on my serious hat"

Seven years of age isn't too young to understand that there's a time for being silly and a time to be serious. Dexter knows that he doesn't want to be the class clown (or wear the dunce cap) at school, which means it's time to put the "silly" hat away!


2020 never ends

Share to Pinterest"why is it always 2020?"

For many reasons, 2020 felt like the year that was never going to end. Clearly, this nightmarish feeling was shared by people of all ages. We can all agree that we're glad 2020 wasn't an endless time loop after all!


Cold comfort

Share to Pinterest"before i snuggle you i always check first to make sure you're warm. you always are."

What is the purpose of a mom or a dad, if not to act as a portable space heater? We think it's smart that four-year-old Theo makes sure things are warm enough first before diving in.


Storage space

Share to Pinterest"my favorite part of my body is my belly because it stores mac & cheese."

Remember the kid above who talked about how they couldn't control themselves around cheese? Seven-year-old Xavi is the same, except they've figured out that they can't eat more mac-and-cheese than what their belly can hold!


Noodle arms

Share to Pinterest"i feel beautiful and strong when i eat noodles."

We all love carbs, but there's some controversy as to whether they are a key part of a balanced diet. Eleanor is definitely on Team High-Carb, and she seems to be doing better for it!


Trash talk

Share to Pinterest"i'm going to take what you said and put it in the trash can in my brain."

Teaghan isn't taking any suggestions – they are only taking out the trash! We agree that some statements don't deserve a second thought...which is when they go straight in the trash, not even in the recycling.


Always on call

Share to Pinterest"you need to tell me if any trouble comes. i'm serious, like any ladybugs or bees, you call me. my phone is pretend by i'll answer you."

Four-year-old Lou is here to save the day. Even if Lou's phone isn't real, we're sure it has better service than some of the cell providers out there. (Also, who else is thinking that Lou could team up with the spider-killing mom? The two of them could start a pest extermination business.)



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